You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
