i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm too high and old for this...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
