Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
