Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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