I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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