im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize