If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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