I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
