Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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