Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
