So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
