I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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