Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
