yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
