Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
