Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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