Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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