dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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