After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
