I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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