Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
