It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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