i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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