Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
