I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
