Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
