new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We're too hungover to prance.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
