i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
porn star boner night. come get it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
