Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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