Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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