He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
two words: eviction party
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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