The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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