Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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