the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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