i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
