In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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