Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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