Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."

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(360): View more from Washington

i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew

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(765): View more from Indiana

You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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(415): View more from California

i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again

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(607): View more from New York

Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

(845): View more from New York

Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.

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