We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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