im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
