We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
