Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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