I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
