Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
