one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
