he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
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Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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