If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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