Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
