"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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