Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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