Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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