dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
