$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
