i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
