I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
