It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize