hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize