i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
